Postmodernism and the Freeplay of Words and Signifiers

The simple truth @ Futureman

As most of you know, John Totten has a dog named futureman. For those of you who have met him, you find him to be quite the loner. he keeps quite and only yelps when somone steps on his paw, or he has to go poop really badly. But there is a whole other side to this dog we all call Futureman.

Futureman is just a name that John Totten gave this dog, partially the name change was to confuse his old owners so they would not try to find him again. Futureman led a rough life before his adoption by Totten. So rough in fact that he finally had to run away from it all before it finally caught up with him and killed him. I had to do a lot of resarch to find out what i could about Jose, or as we have come to know him Futureman. Dont ask me my sources because they have asked to keep there anonymity.

Well the birth date and place of Futureman is unclear. It is said that he was found by a well known drug lord in Mexico City. Most of my sources say that he was left on the doorstep bundled up inside a sock. It is a sad beginning, but life for Futurman was rich and happy in his youth. Futureman was the favorite pet of the drug lords children. He ate the best alpo that money could buy. He spent his days being loved and adored by the children and even slept in bed with the youngest daughter. Very shortly after Futuremans supposed 2nd birhtday the master of the house had a bright idea.

He was trying to come up with new ways of getting his product threw customs at the boarder. His bright new idea was to force dogs to carry cocaine in there butts and cross the boarder, seriously who is going to become suspicious of the drug dogs sniffing the dogs butts. Well the drug lord was going to test his new idea out on Futurman. So early one morning the drug lords men came and snatched futureman from his slumber, they forced as much cocaine in his butt as they could and sent him across the boarder. The whole trip was under the guise of a pet adoption. When futureman was safe and sound in America, the new owners of this poor little dog, removed the cocaine from his butt. Much to there chagrin, the bag had burst and all they got was a majorlly geeked up dog. The stories say that futureman ran around the house for the next two days without stopping. I mean wouldnt you if a whole bag of coke had exploded in your butt?

So that is how Futureman got his now famous coke habit. But the sadness does not end there. Futureman was abandoned by the new family. he was forced to live on the streets. And he was trying to find the buzz again. So he began to whore himself out to whoever he could just to buy some coke. he found his way to Las Vegas and was working as a black jack dealer. He liked the job because he worked at night and could score coke from the showgirls. The job did not last long because the managment caught him snorting lines off of the black jack table. Futureman was forced to relocate again. His journey was a hard one. He never slept in the same bed twice. His drug problem was getting worse. When he was geeked up on coke he felt normal, but the days he could not find any were miserable. he would vomit all day long and would not even be able to get out of bed. Things were getting pretty bad. Until one day a lonely traveller found Futureman lying on the ground some where near the interstate in Northern Texas. The man who will remain nameless said he found futureman lying in a pile of his on vomit convulsing and trying to reach for his gun. Futureman wanted to end the pain, but did not even have the strength to pull the trigger. The man nursed futureman back to health, he had to bottle feed him and give him a key bump ever hour to help fight off the convulsions. Futureman thought he had found his best friend, but this traveler only got him more addicted to the drug that already ruled his life.

This traveller led futureman to Chattanooga. Here they lived the high life. The both lived in the train tunnel right beside the interstate. The one that runs threw the side of Lookout Mountain and is across the River From Moccasin bend. Here the two would withdrawl after there long days of pan handliing outside of Luckys bar off of cummings highway. They would get enough each day to buy a little food and score a little bit more nose candy, as they called it. but this life did not last long. The man was arrested outside of the Sidewinders bar for starting a fight with some of the patrons. As for futureman he was left to once again travel alone. A couple of days after his abandoment the humane society was alerted by a family in tiftonia about a dog snorting some white powder outside their home. The Humane society trucks rushed to Futuremans aid. He was placed in the carrier and whisked away to begin his doggy rehab. The rehab was long and painfull, but Futureman told me himself that it was the best thing that ever happend to him.

After cleaning his life up he was finally adopted by John Totten. Totten who at the time was a student of jazz bass at UTK gave Futureman a warm bed and a good meal every day. The most important thing that futureman recievied from Totten was companionship. Now the combo of Totten and Futureman live in Motana, where they are trying to keep futureman from falling back into his old ways. Futureman says it is a hard road, but it is very rewarding.

There was a cool picture i had of futureman, but it was to large to put it on the blog. And i am to much of a computer idiot to figure out how to fix this dilema. So sorry meg.

the wonderful world of me kicking your butt

Well i have a soccer game tonight. The Sticky Fingers sponsored indoor team i am on is playing tonight at ,get this, 10:15 in the PM. That is way past my normal bed time. But to hell with it, i can make a little sacrifice for the good of the team. I am no where close to as coordinated as i was in high school. Did i actually play in high school? I must have made a fool out of my self on a regular basis. I spend most of the game on the floor. That is because i am getting shot on ever five seconds or so. Man i love soccer, this is the first team i have ever played on where i do not mind losing. We are just a bunch of ex- half way good soccer players, trying to relive out glory days. So i felt it of great importance to bore you with that today. and on that note i am going to poop.

The days of wine and booze

Well i am back at my ole' computer again. This whole blogging thing has seemed a bit distant for me, as of recently. I think i may be running out of words in my head. The voices are getting more silent. Hopefully this is just a calm before the storm. Soon i will wow you again.

Well johnny T. Totten has finally taken off to conquer the great north west. he has taken the way of the pioneering spirit that he is. Both yours and Davids presence in Chatty will be missed. And if you need any one to critique any of your new music, just send it my way.

I dont know if any of you listen to online radio at all, but if you do, check out Tree Monkey Radio. I do not know how to put a link up for it, bit visit James over at Blogger Royale http://jimmyjazz.chattablogs.com/
So check it out.

I really do not have anything to say tonight. I am kind of tired, i have been painting for the last week straight. My brain is pretty much shot from the monotany. So have a good night, morning, or afternoon depending on when you read this. Later

Back in the saddle again

After a seemingly long break from any sort of regular blogging i am back. Hopefulley i can manage to keep you all abreast of any changes and developments in my life. There are usually not to many that are worth blogging about, but i am sure i can find other ways to dull your minds untill they turn into mush. And when they finally turn to mush then you are in my control. It is just a matter of time until i have a whole army of mush people. These mush people i will control from high atop my chariot.

i just got done with a break from work. Well technically it was over on the 3rd. For almost the first time in my life i felt like i finally have earned a break from everything. My week and a half off of work was my ticket to lazy town. It is not that long of a trip for me, i live two boroughs over from it in Lookout Valley. I did absolutely nothing, and by nothing i mean alot of Movies and alot of Halo 2.

So back to this whole PBR club member thing. I saw I got a comment about how to join. All you have to do is go to www.pabstblueribbon.com and sign up. Honestly the more the merrier. The benefits of the club are incredible.

Well In order for me to revel in my own beauty i must leave you now. i am going to go stare in the mirror at myself for the next half an hour, i will most likely follow this up with more looking at myself.

Members only

I think i just found the club i am most suted for. I have been searching for my place in this crazy world for a while. This club i just joined is extremely exclusive, i know of only a handfull of people who could join a club like this. Me being one of those people. I am now a proud member of the Pabst Blue Ribbon club.

NPR Wits With Hearts Of Poop.

National Public Radio essayists should be shampooing butt. For those of you who can't tell this is John Totten and I'm taking over tonight. My blog will be full of sad pappy posts about taking my girlfriend to the airport for the umpteenth time this year, poetic justice, whatnot. But on Postmodernism and the Freeplay of Words And Signifiers I'm here to complain about things you want to hear complaints about. And that's why I am telling you that National Public Radio essayists should be shampooing my butt hairs.

This is what they do. They pick an event that happened to them, a funny thing a child said, an interaction in the supermarket, and they run it into the ground making an inference about the way things are in the world. They're just arrogant enough to assume that the cute little thing they're daughters said at the dinner table about death is a microcosm (spelling?) of the way the world is in the context of last months tsunami. I don't realize how people who are smart enough to be broadcast on public radio are stupid enough to hear of this tragedy and think that it's juxtaposition with they're stupid, banal experience is just witty enough to not only make the tsunami bearable, but hopeful. Don't try and charm us over this tidal wave. Just admit that we can't understand destruction of this magnitude. It reminds me of a homeless man I use to pass everyday, he had a sign that read...

So it is 05 do you know where your kids are

So 05 has turned out to be the best year ever. HOw do you feel about it. Already in the first ten minutes of the New Year i have seen two of the biggest acts on tv. Billy Idol and Kenny G have graced the air waves to help me celebrate the New Year. So i am going to leave you now. But 05 rocks