It is that time again. I know all of you have been waiting with baited breath for my next entry. So here it is.
I believe i will start with another story. This is a story about a man who finally go what was coming to him. This mans name is Steve.
Steve was just a normal guy. Normal by whatever standards you set to who is normal, then set those on Good old Steve. He went to work every day, he went through his whole day waiting for the day to end. Who wouldnt wait for the day to end when they worked in a shit factory. Steve Worked on the assembly line, all he did was deal with shit all day long. You may be thinking in your head right now, What is a shit factory? And that my friend is the wrong question to be asking. The more important question is why would you work in a shit factory. I do not have your answers here. So back to the story. Steve had just gotten off of work and he smelled awful, i mean who wouldnt smell bad when they handeled fecal matter all day long. he was on his way to his house when out of the blue he was struck with an idea. The wheels in his brain were spinning and he got the bright idea to stop in at his friends house and invite him to grab a bite to eat. So Steve drove to his friends house. As he arrived at the house he realized his car was running a little hot so he decided he would have to let the car rest a while so he could put more fluid in the radiator. So Steve got out of the car hoping that his friend would invite him in to sit for a spell before he had to get back on the road. But when he got to the door it was locked and no one was home. And that is the story of how Steve got what was coming to him.
Now I do not want a bunch of comments from all of you saying stupid things. For example a stupid thing would have to be, "What kind of car does Steve drive", or "Why did he no t regularly check his fluid levels." So you guys are intelleligient lets have some good comments this time.
If you could list in order your favorite beverages in the world what do you think they would be. Kevin Bevil and I had this conversation the other day. I realized that you can tell alot about a person by there favorite drinks. I think i figured out my favorites: 1) Beer 2)coffee 3)water 4)chocolate milk 5)orange juice. Now that is a list. I dont think anyone can top that list i dare you to try. And if you do try i will just tell you that you are an idiot.
I also realized the other day that anyone who doesnt know, me and reads this blog, must think i am the strangest person in the world. And i would just like to say welcome to the club. Everyone who knows me, and reads this blog already thinks i am the strangest person in the world. I try my best to make sure and live up to everyones expectations. But i am just a man and i do fail. So if i dont live up to your expectations then let me know and i will probably just be apathetic.
So since their is such a grate interest in how bad of a speller i am i will try my hardest to change my ways. Maybe i need a tudor. Who nows? Butt all i do now is that you all can kiss my smooth white ass.
On another note. The work week has begun and i am busy as usual.
But on an even different note. The week is going to be over soon enough so i will not be busy as soon as the weekend arrives.
Is it possible there is a time portal somewhere. If there is one, and i am hoping there is, do you think people come back in time from the future to steal your money in the middle of the night. I bet you will start putting your valueables in a safe now huh? Also if they can steal your money is it any good to them in the future? All i have is some old receipts and maybe a couple of dollars. Is inflation going to be so bad they can not even buy a hamburger with that. Who knows, I am no expert. I think Chris Marr may be, He once told me he holds the keys to the future. i for one believe this means he has a time machine or maybe he knows someone who owns one. But any who, I think it would be great to take a trip in a time machine. I would pack a bag lunch and stop at all the cool sights.
Now on to even more important and pressing matters. What do you think of anti matter and the lack there of. I mean i have never seen any. Maybe just maybe there is a lack of it because the government is stocking up on it so i cant get my hands on any of it. Who knows i am just one man and not a very smart one at that.
I do not think light can travel faster then me. I move pretty darn fast. I mean i can blink my eyes and light stops entering. Then i move and when i open my eyes i am in a different position or maybe even a different room. I believe this proves without a doubt, I move faster then light. I think there is no disputing this theory, or maybe i should say fact! i mean even if you try to refute it I will just call you an idiot and then come to your house and slap you. Because that is how i solves disputes. What is the point in arguing when you can easily slap someone across the face.
You know what confuses me. When stupid people try to tell me I am not a genius. With ideas like mine i would think people would just automatically jump on the band wagon. It just seems to be ridiculous that anyone would dispute me. Remember i will slap you in the face if you dispute me. Well my brain is tired so i will leave you with these final thought. One day a man was talking to his son. He told him, "boy!", see thats what he called him, "let me tell you something about life." The boy was like, "What about life do you want to tell me, Pop?" The father, who shall remain nameless (He remains nameless because i am to lazy to name him. it is not because i do not want you to know his name), sighs then gently tells his son. "The only way for you to become smarter then everyone is the world is to steal Jonathan Huffines brains." The boy begain to laugh heartedly eventually his laugh brought him to the ground and he rolled around for about ten minutes. The father became quickly irritated with his idiot child. He then picked up his phone and called me, Jonathan Huffine, the uncompromised hero of this web blog. After bringing me up to date on the happenings of his idiot child the father then asked me, "what should i do?". I quickly responded, "send him to bed with no supper of course." The father embarassed responded, "he has already had supper." I was like, "what?", "Supper at only 4:30 what kind of family eats at 4:30?" I quickly followed with, "Ok, here is what you do, keep the boy entertained with stories of yore, I will be over there shortly to rectify the whole situation." I then jumped in my pimped out caddy and travelled night and day for 6 weeks until i finally arrived down the street from my house. It took a while because i went to waffle house to eat then i got tired and fell asleep in my car. The rest of the time i was just lost. When i arrived the father had his son enthralled in a tale of goblins and ghost who haunted sleepy, one of the seven dwarves, in his sleep. I then calmly walked over to his son and slapped him.
That is how I began to slap people who dispute me. Or who dispute the idea that i am a genius. Bye.
Well the work week is over and i am glad. I have spent most of my week underneath a house. First i had to find the weak points then strategically place forms under it. Then i had to pull buckets of concrete in a three foot crawl space. So Lord knows i could drink a bear right now and probably like it. So now i just have the dilema of finding something to eat.
When i am not so tired i will write something new and maybe intelligient. Ha ha that is pretty funny, me write something intelligient. have a nice night. If i happen to see any one, who is reading this right now, I will pretend like we do not have these secret roundevous.
That title is what you call a hook. See you are here reading right now arent you. Dont even try to deny it you know you are and lying to yourself is worse then lying to a priest. Now that i have your attention i am going to try and amaze you. Oh i dont konw how to do that.
I am way to tired right now, just got home from work and the sun has baked all my energy out of me. So if you were hoping for something amazing from me today, then to bad.
Well it was back to work for me today. I have not worked since last thursday. I took a well needed break in order to rest up for the busy summer ahead. My nose will be to the grind stone all summer long. We are buildind 3 or 4 houses this summer, depending upon the time frame. Enough about that though.
I am glad to see people are already taking an intrest in my blog. Mesh the name is mine you cant have it. If you do not know what I am talking about then you must not be cool enough to know. The name, "Postmodernism and The Freeplay of Words and Signifiers", is not only the name of my blog. It is also the name of my band. Our first album is set to be released when ever Chris Marr and i can decide on the album art. it is promised to be the greatest Freshman release of any unknown band ever. Rollingstone magazine has been bothering me for the past month to do an interview, but i am so busy. The album is a three disk masterpiece. We are editing it down from the recorded five disks that it started as, hopefully it will just flow. The disks are split to three different themes, But i can not tell you what themes they are. So start the buzz. If you are lucky maybe one day i will get over my stage fright enough to play on stage on day. But until then all you have to go on is my word and my word is golden, So says I!
Just and Introduction:
For those of you new to the world of Jonathan Huffine, welcome. I am a 22 year old carpenter, just trying to build a niche for myself in this crazy world. I am a chattanogga native, born and raised. If you stick with my blog, then you are probably crazier then me. I will probably talk about nothing and confuse everyone even myself. I am a simple minded man, but if you blink for a second my simplicity will confuse and amaze you. My brain is in no way on the frequency of an accepted normal person. I am to complex for words, but so simple that no one possilbly can read me. Keep visiting me here and let me know how I can entertain you.
Well after much anticipation the day has arrived. My blog is finally up and running. I do not have much prepared to put on this blog right now, but keep watching i am sure to blow everyones minds